after dark bear fear

This evening I did not get outside until after dark.

The darkness swamped me with fear. Always here there is the possibility that a bear, cougar or coyote may be on the path ahead or around the next corner. I have seen many bears since arriving in Whistler. They mostly like to get out of the way, but if I were to accidentally walk into one in the dark, it may be a different matter. I went to the Space the long way around via the road, and the scariest animal I encountered was a growling guard dog.

Donning the pinhole spectacles, I could immediately see almost nothing. Darkness enveloped me all the more completely. Tilting my head up, I could barely make out the negative space of the sky defined by the outline of the trees. Looking down, I could see nothing at all.

a quick sketch depicting the memory of near-total darkness
with a rotary smidgen of out-of-sight ambient light reflecting off the insides of the pinholes

When I took off the spectacles, all became comparatively clear and bright. The rocks were faintly illuminated by light scattered from a house or porch somewhere. I had been planning to use the darkness as an opportunity to listen. But there was far too much to see.

Having got somewhat accustomed to the darkness, I made my return journey via a shorter darker route. It was less scary that I had anticipated on the outward leg: it was far easier to move through the very dark from the dark to the light than vice versa. But still, every shadow held the fear of a bear.

The shape of the fear of a bear was more real this evening than the animal itself.